Music is life! So many songs have helped me get through some dark days of my faith crisis. In this week's episode of Exmormonology, I want to share several of the songs I love. I have many many more, but here is a great sampling of some songs that mean a lot to me. I hope you love them too! I would love to hear what songs have helped you through the tougher days of your paradigm shift.

What do you do when your mormon parenting handbook is tossed out the window? If you are a parent, and you have experienced a faith crisis, at some point you will have thoughts about how to parent your kids. Doesn't matter if they are little bitty or full grown with children of their own, you will have questions about how to approach parenting through your new lens.

First, it is totally understandable if you are having a hard time with this. You have been living in a black and white type of thinking world. It can feel very overwhelming to have that structure removed. There was not a lot of wiggle room before. Now what?

Let's dive in to your mormon parenting brain and your post mormon parenting brain in this weeks episode of Exmormonology.

This week in Exmormonology we are going to walk towards our painful feelings. We have to be able to FEEL our feelings. Doing this lets the pressure, stress, and discomfort lessen. Once we are able to feel them properly, we can see that that emotion is just a physical vibration in the body and nothing to be scared of. Most of us spend so much time trying to avoid our negative feelings, at all costs, that we miss out on the growth that comes from processing our emotions. So, let’s show ourselves compassion and love and healing, by going there.

Opps, we did it again! Another Irreverent Bonus Ep. of Exmormonology. Whiskey is involved and there is a lot of loud laughter. In this session James and I talk about..

The Regular Testimony Bearers

Las Vegas

Church Approved Music

Black and White Thinking

Jesus, The Bible and The Book of Mormon

Things Lost In Translation

Tithing Dollars

White Lines and Stake Dances

Thought Bubbles

Happiness is Family Home Evening

Champaign at a Family Dinner

and more!

Grab a drink, or not, and join us.

Growing up in the Mormon church, we have been so conditioned to black and white type of thinking. This type thinking effects our decision making, for sure! Exmormon life is the gift that keeps on giving. We can’t see all the ways our conditioning effects all the areas of our life, right away. Little by little, the layers peel back and we can see it, do the work, and heal.

Exmormonology Ep. 32 is all about Modesty. Growing up, in and through mormonism, you have been influenced by all the lessens, scriptures, conference talks, parent messages and mormon culture, that comes with all the conditioning we experienced, even when we do not even see it as conditioning, while we are in it. We see it as normal.

Mix our mormon religious conditioning and society messages and we have the perfect cocktail for messed up body image, shame and mental torture we put on ourselves, to hide ourselves.

We spend so much time trying to make sure we are covered up, that we end up covering up our authentic self.

Have you ever done something that scares the living day lights out of you? I know the answer is yes because I know you have experienced a faith crisis. Experiencing a faith crisis means you had to face fear and damnation and hell, face to face. Leaving the only belief you have ever know, is terrifying. Get yourself a new pair of gloves, hold on to the cables with all your might. You will come out the other side stronger than you ever thought possible. Listen to a tale of me facing my second biggest fear, second only to my faith crisis. Half Dome and a tale about one of the 3 Nephites, garments and porn shoulders.

Perfectionism! Ewwww.

Anyone who has been raised with religion has had the background underlining belief that we need to strive for perfection. Mormonism is no different. Even if logically you know that it is possible to obtain any kind of perfection, it is often the soundtrack that plays throughout your life. That constant drive toward becoming perfect, even as your father in heaven is perfect. Let’s throw that type of thinking out the door and on the pile of conditioning we are ditching. The truth is perfection is stagnation. You may not even think you are a perfectionist? I am going to show you how perfectionism masks itself as doubt and how it may be stopping you from achieving what you want in life. We have lots and lots of layers to work through leaving the mormon faith. This week we dive into the perfectionism we were constantly striving for and never attaining. I tell you why this happens and exactly how you can become a recovering perfectionist, like me. Post Mormon Life.

This week let's get a little cheeky for our Irreverent Bonus Ep. of Exmormonology.

Jim and I talk about all things, well at least a few things, Mormon Folklore. When you sit back and reflect on the stories you hear in mormonism, it is amazing the creativeness that has been used to keep the story going. The funny thing about it is, most of us bought it all hook line and sinker. WOW.

And then to add insult to (emotional) injury, in actuality, all of mormonism is folklore, isn't it? I know. It is maddening to think of all that we believed. Let’s laugh about. It is good for the soul.

James and I discuss, The Three Nephites, Cain being Big Foot, How to test a spirit, and the 1st Vision. Plus a few other tipsy wanderings that you don't want to miss.

Post Mormon Humor is one of my favorite things.

Your brain is the most powerful tool you have. Are you using it to your advantage or are you letting it run the show with no supervision?

If you are serious about improving your exmormon, post mormon mental health, have a listen.

You are the boss of your brain, only you. No one else is responsible for what is going on up in the there, except for you. Growing up in mormonism, your brain has been conditioned a certain way, don’t be discouraged that it takes time to rewire it. Spend some time mining around in there and see what is going on. You are worth the time.

In this episode of Exmormonology, I give you concrete examples of what this looks like. This is your brain, this is your brain, working beyond mormonism. Post mormon life.

Ohhh boy! Let’s talk about other people and their feelings, shall we?Especially growing up mormon, we are taught to be kind and pleasant and to not be contentious. So, we often stuff our own feelings down, as to not CAUSE someone else to feel something that we think they don’t want to feel. Well, you can stop that now. As you navigate life post mormonism, there will for sure be people who have thoughts and feelings about what you are doing/experiencing. We have been taught from a young age that we are responsible for other people's feelings, when in connection to something we have done or said. It can feel strange to learn that this is not true.

Are you feeling exhausted from all things Post Mormon?

This week, I want to talk about why you feel this way and how you can help reduce the tiredness you feel as you unravel your life.

Your brain is working overtime trying to solve the puzzle of "WTF just happened." It is no wonder you are not more exhausted.

You are deconstructing all of your beliefs. You may be feeling like you have to defend your decision to leave the church. You may be mourning the loss of something that you once loved. Maybe you are suppressing your thoughts and feelings. Maybe you are overwhelmed with it all.

OF COURSE you are tired my dear.

Continuing on this week discussing how the mormon church contributed the racism we have in us today.

Your brain broke wide open during your faith crisis.

You know how that felt, right?

Let it break open again if you are new to racism.

You know how to feel uncomfortable. You have done it, did it, as you process life after mormonism.

Do it again with racism. If you are new to this work, pull the curtain back. Look. Be willing to see it all. STUDY. If you grew up in America, we also received a white washed (literally) version on history of slavery and the history of black people in this country.

Don’t look away.

This is one of the things I love so much about exmormons, we have felt betrayed by our religious past, this means you most likely want to see what other areas in your life you have not quite seen the full picture. Racism, for me, is one of those areas.

How about you?

In this week’s Exmormonology, I want to talk about this very sensitive topic. I believe that it is our responsibility to have uncomfortable conversations, to help better our communication and compassion for all people. I know that I may not say things right or do it perfectly, but I feel very strongly that our conditioning, in the mormon church, has contributed, even if we do not want to think so, to racist pieces of us.

Let's look at the foundational teachings from the Book of Mormon that include racism. Yes, the mormon church has tried to lessen the teachings around "white and delightsome" and dark skin being a curse, but the truth of the matter is that this language is in the Book of Mormon. Let's talk about the how these teachings get into our psyche and influence our thoughts, feelings and actions around racism.

Amy is drinking a Rosé and James is drinking Bourbon Whiskey and our conversation took us around the block a few times...

• Mormon Dating

• Pretty In Pink

• Sex Before Marriage

• Purity Culture

• Young Women's Motto

• Modesty

• Boys and their bad thoughts.

• Uchtdorf

• 3 year olds bearing testimonies

• Anti-mormons at General Conference

to name a few. You will have to listen to the whole show to hear it all.

Enjoy!

A & J

Wildflower,

Have you ever wondered what stage of your faith crisis you are in? How many stages are there? How did you get to this point in life that everything seems so different now?

Last year we made a docu style video (thank you James Rhodimer) about an Anatomy of a Faith Crisis. I walk you through the video and give you come commentary about the process, including some coaching and things I didn’t mention in the video.

Wildflower,

Post mormon brain often needs a little TLC in the self confidence department. You have busted through a huge paradigm and some of the side effects of this new world view may involve a bit of gun shyness.

Let's continue to use that paradigm busting muscle in other areas of your life as well.

You have evidence of your own self confidence, yet when you set out to do something new, all your old stories come to the forefront and try to shut you down.

Let me walk you though why this happens and teach you how to rebuild and boost your self confidence going forward.

Take notes!

Welcome to the first Exmormonology Bonus Episode: The Irreverent Sessions.

James Rhodimer joins me for a wine review, mormon memory lane, and a glimpse into our exmormon life together. We laugh a lot, on a daily basis actually, and so we thought it would be fun to talk about some of the funny parts of mormonism.

So kick back and enjoy a little bit of our light mindedness and loud laughter. Would this really be an exmormon podcast if we didn’t kick off our shoes and get a little silly about it all? I mean, really? I just couldn’t help myself. I am sure you understand.

CHEERS!

Wildflower, believe it or not, or maybe you are already there, but there will come a time when you can look back at your initial faith crisis stage of life and laugh at yourself a wee little bit.

Oh my hell! Leaving mormonism is not for the faint of heart! It is for sure not for wimps. When you can get to the point of laughing at yourself a bit about life as a mormon, you will start to feel some relief from all of the pain. Laughter is so healing.

It is time for a Exmormonology pep talk and a story of a crazy nervous Amy, first time exmormon meet up and a woman in red boots.

Let's talk about the psychology and long lasting effects of mormon worthiness interviews, in the episode of Exmormonology.

After decades of needing to measure up, to be worthy enough, to go the LDS temple and progress through all the proper ranks of mormonism, it is no wonder so many mormons and exmormons a like, never feel worthy enough…